On Alcoholics Anonymous:It's the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math … another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done … you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view!"

Regarding Alcoholics Anonymous: "You gotta sit in a room and be all lame. I'm a winner and they look like losers."

Marriage: a shameful contract for amateurs and Bible grippers


Definition: The end goal of Charlie Sheen’s life philosophy.

Usage: “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning,” “Just winning every second,” “Winning, anyone?” “Duh, winning!”

Pronunciation: “It rhymes with winning.”


Definition: Winning on the ultimate level.

Usage: I’m not bi-polar, “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

I'm the best at what I do. It's on.

Bingo! I'm here to collect, and they're going to lose.

Host: "Are there any drugs in this house?"

Charlie Sheen: "If there are, you better find them and give them to me immediately."

Host: "You love to party."

Charlie Sheen: "What's not to love? Especially when you see how I party."